I Scream Cause You're Not Here
by PurpleLightsGleam
Summary: Tate is just Violet's fuck buddy, nothing more, nothing less, no matter how much he wants differently.
1. Chapter 1

Tate pulled his shirt over his head.

"You can go anytime now, Tate." Violet's words seemed to melt out of her mouth. She lit up a cigarette and closed her eyes.

"Why do you keep doing this to me, Vi? The pain in his voice was almost tangible.

"Tate, darling, you know what our arrangement is. You fuck me and that's all. Stop trying to change what I am to you."

"But Violet I lo-"

"Don't start that shit with me today. You need to leave now or I can't do this with you anymore." Sometimes she hated seeing his face like this. Tears were kept slightly at bay and his skin turned red with anger and sadness. Ironically the only emotions Violet seemed to posses. She felt empty as he walks out the door. She feels nothing. The smoke puffed out of her thin lips. But sometimes she was sad about seeing him go. She knew she could never let him stay after sex. He'd get all emotional and sappy and she just didn't want to think about it. She could let herself fall into a routine with him. He would crack her eventually if she didn't cut him off soon. She knew it too. But other times she loved it, seeing him almost cry with the desire to stay with her. It was the only thing that kept her self-esteem above ground level.

Sometimes she dreamt about him staying though, her letting him in. Strong, hard shelled Violet opening a door she knew she could never close afterwards. She dreamt about him wrapped around her body, a warm cocoon of fatigue. And sometimes he'd stroke her face gently and tell her he loved her over and over again and she basked in it. Then if her sleeping lips would permit, she'd tell him she loved him too. His fingertips hot on her stomach skin as she felt what it truly was like to be loved.

She would wake up, startled and confused. She'd tell herself it was a nightmare not a dream and he would have no idea how she thought of him in her sleep. She knew he was scarred and bruised from the inside out and she didn't want to know why or kiss them better. She didn't want him to know why she was hurt and why her veins popped out in anger all the time.

She didn't want to get close to him or anyone for that matter. That was why she lived in a hole in the wall apartment away from the city and people to hurt her. She was tough and hard and secretive and independent but deep, deep down she was really just a soft, scared, hurt little girl who wanted someone to hold her at night. Especially when she was cold.


	2. Chapter 2

Violet laid still in her bed filled with a kind of shame that didn't feel much like anything to her. The guy, whatever his name was, wasn't going to linger around at all. He got off and got out which wasn't bad in Violet's view. She slinked out from under the blankets with only a thin shirt on that barely covered her ass.

"Nice doing business with you," she snapped quickly and grabbed a box of cigarettes off her bed side table. The guy just nodded and headed for the door. As Violet fumbled around for her lighter there was a knock at the door. She sighed heavily knowing that I was probably her landlord wanting last month's rent. She pushed her way in front of the guy and swung the door open with a bad vibe radiating off her. She was as surprised to see Tate standing there as he was to see this stranger leaving her apartment. She stepped outside on the balcony that ran across the second story doors.

"Who was that guy, Vi?" Tate cleared his throat. She light up and rolled her eyes.

"It's none of your damn business, Tate." She emphasized the T which she only did when she was pissed at him.

"What were you even doing with him? Did you just fuck him?" he pressed it a little too much. Violet flicked her cigarette over the railing and twisted around in a blur.

"Stop asking me questions or you can just leave now." She practically stomped back inside. Tate followed her and closed the door. He turned around to see her peeling her shirt off.

"Violet, stop! Can't we just talk for a minute?"

"Nope. If we aren't going to do this than you have no purpose here and can get the fuck out. Can you not understand what I'm saying to you? Are you fucking stupid?" Sometimes her anger fuelled his arousal and he didn't know why. Maybe it was because he knew the angrier she got the closer to cracking her he was.

He walked over to the bed and planted his lips against hers. Tate picked up her petite body with ease. Violet sighed against his mouth. Being with him defiantly relaxed her. She loved the feeling of his hands gripping onto parts of her, just the right places. She rushed things along so she could feel of the comfort of him inside her. They toppled over on to the bed and he shed most of his clothes.

The sighed, relieved that he was with her right now. She could never admit how much she actually cared for him and how much she craved his touch. She knew that no matter how many times she told him to leave that he never would but he couldn't think she was going soft on him ever, right?

He noticed her body start to shake underneath his, which was abnormal for her during the first few minutes of sex.

"Vi?" Tate looked down at her to see her face streaked with tears and her hands pulled tight to her chest. "Violet, am I hurting you? I'm so sorry, what did I do?" he panicked. He started to pull out when she stopped him.

"T-Tate, no wait, you-you didn't do anything," she clung to him tightly and he had never felt her affection like this. "I slept with that guy for money, Tate. I feel so dirty," her form shook even harder at her confession. "Pl-please don't leave, no, no,"

She finally let him go but he held her to his chest as she spilled secrets and feelings and emotions neither of them were aware she felt. She talked for a while telling her tales of sadness and uncertainty and even lightly touched on her want for him and her caring thoughts and dreams that he never suspected would come from her. Her rambling finally stopped when she felt asleep, her head against him and dried tears beneath her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Violet woke with regret fresh on her breath. She totally let him in. This wasn't okay. It was anything but okay. She peeled his arm off from around her and slipped out from under the blanket. On her way to the bathroom she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She was scrawny and weak. Her hair looked terrible but at least you could fix that, unlike the way her face looked. She stood there and poked and prodded parts of her she didn't like. She felt horrible.

"Violet, stop that you're so perfect, you don't need to fill your head with thoughts like that.' Tate's unwelcomed words startled her. She ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Her eyes tried to hold in her tears but they did about as good of a job as she did keeping Tate at bay. He listened to the soft sobbing and his heart shattered all over again.

"Vi, when are you going to stop running from all your fears? Getting close to someone isn't a bad thing. Just stop running away from me. I want to help you. I love you." And with that his footsteps led down the hall and out the door.

Once she was sure he was gone Violet unlocked the door and got back in her bed. The pillow still smelled like him and she wished he hadn't left. She didn't know why she ran away from him. Maybe it was because she wanted to break him before he had the pleasure of breaking her first. Whatever it was she wanted to get over it so she could finally be happy. With him she was happy and that's all she needed to remember.

The next day she thought he'd be back but he didn't show up. The next day was absent of his presence as well as the rest of the week. She wondered if she had pushed him too far away. She decided to go visit him the next morning.


End file.
